Getting Serious!!

I can’t comment on others lives but I’ve highest regards of my life. May be I’ve seen too many western movies based in deserts such as Mummies series or Prince of Persia but I think I’m no different than those protagonists of such movies who holds swords with big muscular physique in their posters. Often it has been written or spoken that how our lives are not at all related to what we see on 70mm screen may be it is true. Sometimes you see things so many times that gradually you start to notice what other people don’t notice. It’s not the stubbornness and careless attitude of Brad Pitt’s attitude makes him so much popular in Troy but the unfairness and the way he handles the situation makes him so unique. Anyway, I’m not here to judge movies and share its visual greatness.

It’s been a while since wrote my last piece. Last two years have been mixture of both success and failure. While dealing with social boundaries one gets little attentive, especially in country like India where the barriers crosses the rooftops. Human tendency in such circumstance pushes him to hide his failures and show the success. It takes guts to accept the defeat and start dealing with it. Yes, I’m a failure. May be things could have been much brighter than what they are. May be I wouldn’t be this tensed as I’ve ever been in my life. I could have become the person who conquered despite all the negativity and yet humbly smile. It’ss not the failure around you but the success around you make even more conscious and pushes you hard to feel the regret for your deeds.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot and that might be one the reason my hair fall but I think everything wrong and negative thing happens with you for a reason. May be this eternal optimism I got from my father is talking but Yes, I’ve seen failures. Yes I’ve been defeated very badly in last couple of years. I’ve lost so many things which I would have cherished whole my life. But, on the other hand I’ve learned the lesson which I probably wouldn’t have if I wasn’t that failed. At 23, I’m serious young man who has plans to do something nice with life. May be taking a giant leap of faith but I don’t think anyone of my age would be this focused when they were 23 in their respective lives. If you people were then I’m very sorry.    

I’ve been talking so much about failure so much that many of you will have your share of failure experiences to share with me which I know will have deeper pain and impact in your life. May be the definition of success is way different than what one might think. Some will say I’ve been successful, many will disagree with it. It barely matters what other thinks, it’s what the truth is and what will bring the positive change one would anticipate not in your life but people who are anticipating from you. May be it is the western influence on me or things are changing rapidly but I think I’ve started to think to deal with the problem from the front rather than the ideal way benefiting from everyone’s prospective.

May be I’ve been in the dark so much that every ray of sun makes a larger difference in my life. May be I’ve seen things through one dimension so long that I’m hunting new angles to justify my acts and the way to get out of it. People have suffered because of me and they might suffer more because of me. Sometimes I wish harry handovers the wand of Dumbledore to real people!

Pursuit of Happiness....

Few days ago, I was sipping my hot coffee in our Company’s Canary wharf situated main office’s cafeteria. Even if I don’t work exactly in the area, but sometimes I have to come back to office for work purpose. Sometimes I have to come in the afternoon sometimes in the evening. Technically, I’ve worked with my father in India, but frankly speaking that was not even close to what you call a real job. I was never making money. I was only helping my father to share his work stress. So the current job I’m doing is what you call a real one!  I may sound little immature which I’m but getting paid by working has been kind of first time thing for me and I’ve enjoyed every bit of it.  

Coming back to the topic then like many routine days one day I came to the office. Office people told me to wait for some time. I had sometime before returning my way to home. I thought I should get freshened up with coffee.  I went to our cafeteria, made myself coffee and sat there to relax. No one was there in the room, and I just glimpse outside from the window. In UK day get shorter and shorter after the summer. Even it was 5:15pm by then it was complete dark out there. The taller buildings, the lights and everything around were eye catching. All I can say about the view that it was beautiful! It was like modern day Picasso for me.  One of the advantages of having your office in Canary wharf is that you can spend hours by looking at all the taller banks headquarter building surrounded by you.

I’ve had my upbringing in a small but not so backward these days in a city called Aurangabad, India (150 Merc and 101 Bimmers are solid proof for that!).  The tallest building we would have in our city would be of 10-15 floors. I had lived some time in Pune before coming to London. Architecturally speaking, difference between both Aurangabad and Pune is not as much as locals from both respective cities brag.  So, the change I felt coming from such city to Canary wharf, London was quite drastic and indigestible. Initially, there were days when I used to pinch myself to make myself believe that all what was going around me was all real and not some weird prank played by nature.

I’m so sorry I’m constantly taking you away from the real story and dragging you back but thats the fun I find as a writer. I’m not sure I was right but from what I saw, I think there is a taller residential building close to our offices. For a thought, I thought what fun the people must be having who lives on the top floor of that building. In the morning when they wake up, they surely get the best view of the city (after the queen of course!). I finished my work in the office and was on my way to home.  I called one of my dear friend in London whom I hadn’t had word for months, normally when you speak with someone after months you try to catch up from where you left and our conversation was not an exceptional for that. While talking to her I told her that I am leaving for my house from my office. Then she questioned about my office and whereabouts. Her reaction was the same which I anticipated from everyone when I told her that my office is in Canary wharf. She was surprisingly jealous about it (Its fine, I’m not at all offended!). Like every time we made fake promises to meet on weekends and hung up. I reached tube station and obviously the proud Orange network signal died as I got into the tube. Ironic thing about Network signals in the tube is that In the morning I get irritated by their absence since I’ve to make calls to Office people, friends send some emails, check Facebook status and catch up with cricket scores but in the evening when I’m returning to home after whole days stress when I want some peace around me, I find that absence blessing in disguise. 

The same thing happened to me on that day. I was thinking about the view, the top floor residents from taller building and my friend’s reaction about my offices location. I got into the tube for Stanmore luckily I got the seat in next station.

 From Sometime having the unemployed tag removed was not good enough for me. It was not all well at work. For no apparent reason we had cut off in our pay that development was obviously something which was bothering me. The worst thing about cut offs are that they always remind you about your old pays in a way which makes you feel that “Look dude you could have make this much money”.  There was no way in the earth that I was going to take that positively.

 Announcer in the tube announced that we were approaching London Bridge. I got off from the train and change my tube line to Northern Line. I think it was a lucky day for me I got the seat in that tube as well. Although I got seat it was still a crowded tube. Sometimes when tube is filled excessively you happen to see the people around you (I guess I could have put the thought that I don’t check out people in the Tube that often in a much much better way but nevertheless!).  I saw people around me. There were people from all the age, ethnic, race and religion. Regardless of their racial, cultural and age differences the one thing which I find common in all of them was that none of them were happy. First I thought it must be a lot to do with the work stress but it wasn’t just about that.

 I didn’t know any of them nor they knew me but I can tell the dissatisfaction from their faces. I can take my hand on my heart and tell you people that everyone in that tube was making more than me. There are going to be people who wouldn’t be making as much I do but the chain of dissatisfaction doesn’t end anywhere. I don’t know the people who work on the top floor of HSBC or Bank of America but I can tell one thing about them that none of them would be happy or satisfied about their achievement and accomplishments. 

The point or the crux of the story is that no matter where you are no matter what you do no matter how much you make there is no end to the satisfaction till you want it. If I’m happy working with I do then only I’ll be happy with my life. What do you think guys you think I’m right? Let me know what do you think of this by posting comment below the article.