Memories

We all have memories in our lives, ever since we enter this world we start learning things around us. We understand who our parents are. We understand who our relatives are. We understand who our friends are.

When we meet our best friend or a relative we all have stories for everything we did together, how did we meet? If the person is our best friends from school or college then we will definitely have stories of the mischievous incidents that happen during the respective learning institutions. Those stories may not have happen in recent years but they have their own importance and existence through us.

I have my own memories of my life. I remember doing murga with my best pal for straight two Marathi lectures just because we whispering in English on a national Hindi day in School. I have a memory of playing cricket on the playground behind our school where our school has built a nursery school now. I remember watching creepiest movie in the theater with my best friend on an early Friday morning show just because they used to cost us 30 rupees flat. I remember going to my IELTS exam on heavy rain in Mumbai for the first time on my own. I have a memory of walking on my ¾ for 3 miles from my home to Tesco store in the midnight in London with 3 inch snow on the street just to buy the chocolate flavored milk and couple of red bull so that I can finish my dissertation in time.

You know these are just the small little preview of the memories I have created since my school days till recent years.

In recent years the numbers of memories I have created have shrunk down with heavy percentages. These days what I am doing is what we call maintaining peace, something our government does in Kashmir. They don’t want to mess things up so they just keep things in motion without proper output. I have been doing things that I may not enjoy at fullest but this is part of the package that says do this or suffer with humiliation.

I don’t remember making a new friend in recent time that I will cherish to the rest of my life. I don’t remember doing anything dramatic that people with right character will find hard to digest. I don’t know how they pull this off but people around me have been quite the spender these days. I see those buying very expensive gadgets. They visit these exotic and strange tourist locations with their family and friends. I see people around me making big life decisions with the maximum ease in their behavior. When I compare my life then I am seriously the looser guy in the group. One of the toughest decisions that I have taken in recent days is of buying the 3D LED HD television for my parents for their anniversary or deciding which mobile phone will be cheapest one with maximum features.

May be this is a true sign of growing up. May be this is the sign of maturity. I don’t want to sound callous and selfish but I don’t see any drastic uphill or downhill in life. I have been living in Pune for two years and maybe I will settle down in the city too. Pune as a city ranks second in Maharashtra after Mumbai when I see the population. It is not a bad city to live in to but I am little scared and worried these days. I am worried that I will have nothing new to share with friends when I will meet them in party or function. I am scared that major portion of my life will be over much faster and much before I realize. When I see things through this approach I suffocate a bit.

I am not a scientist, I am not a doctor. I will never cure for major diseases or I will never create any alternative option for fuel. I am just going to be the curly guy in the crowd with a smile, but when I say this that doesn't mean God has the right to take life out my routine.

Sorry folks I really have no clue what to say now neither I have an ideal ending for this but if you like what I have written here then please do leave your comment and let me know your opinion. Thank you.

Getting Serious!!

I can’t comment on others lives but I’ve highest regards of my life. May be I’ve seen too many western movies based in deserts such as Mummies series or Prince of Persia but I think I’m no different than those protagonists of such movies who holds swords with big muscular physique in their posters. Often it has been written or spoken that how our lives are not at all related to what we see on 70mm screen may be it is true. Sometimes you see things so many times that gradually you start to notice what other people don’t notice. It’s not the stubbornness and careless attitude of Brad Pitt’s attitude makes him so much popular in Troy but the unfairness and the way he handles the situation makes him so unique. Anyway, I’m not here to judge movies and share its visual greatness.

It’s been a while since wrote my last piece. Last two years have been mixture of both success and failure. While dealing with social boundaries one gets little attentive, especially in country like India where the barriers crosses the rooftops. Human tendency in such circumstance pushes him to hide his failures and show the success. It takes guts to accept the defeat and start dealing with it. Yes, I’m a failure. May be things could have been much brighter than what they are. May be I wouldn’t be this tensed as I’ve ever been in my life. I could have become the person who conquered despite all the negativity and yet humbly smile. It’ss not the failure around you but the success around you make even more conscious and pushes you hard to feel the regret for your deeds.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot and that might be one the reason my hair fall but I think everything wrong and negative thing happens with you for a reason. May be this eternal optimism I got from my father is talking but Yes, I’ve seen failures. Yes I’ve been defeated very badly in last couple of years. I’ve lost so many things which I would have cherished whole my life. But, on the other hand I’ve learned the lesson which I probably wouldn’t have if I wasn’t that failed. At 23, I’m serious young man who has plans to do something nice with life. May be taking a giant leap of faith but I don’t think anyone of my age would be this focused when they were 23 in their respective lives. If you people were then I’m very sorry.    

I’ve been talking so much about failure so much that many of you will have your share of failure experiences to share with me which I know will have deeper pain and impact in your life. May be the definition of success is way different than what one might think. Some will say I’ve been successful, many will disagree with it. It barely matters what other thinks, it’s what the truth is and what will bring the positive change one would anticipate not in your life but people who are anticipating from you. May be it is the western influence on me or things are changing rapidly but I think I’ve started to think to deal with the problem from the front rather than the ideal way benefiting from everyone’s prospective.

May be I’ve been in the dark so much that every ray of sun makes a larger difference in my life. May be I’ve seen things through one dimension so long that I’m hunting new angles to justify my acts and the way to get out of it. People have suffered because of me and they might suffer more because of me. Sometimes I wish harry handovers the wand of Dumbledore to real people!