Saturday, May 8, 2010

Being Introspectual

“Just tell me something about yourself.” I guess everyone must have been questioned this question a lot of time; at least I have been for number of times. I still remember the first time someone asked me this question. It was a long time ago; I was in school by then and yahoo chat rooms were very popular in youngsters and I was not at all exceptional. I had this big craze that, I used to buzz every single girl from the chat room and in reply girl from the other side used to ask me this question.

Like me many of you must have answer that question. The only difference between my experience and yours is the venue difference of that question’s arrival. Someone must have answered that question in a damn serious campus interview where everything depends on your answer or some of you must have face that question when you first met your soul mate in a arrange marriage’s first meet. There can be many such incidences where people have answered or questioned this question to others.

Like mention above, there are different incidences and worst part of the deal is that each incidence is drastically different from each other, so it is crystal clear that there is not a specific answer to this question. I mean answerer has to pick the moment and have to answer the question accordingly. It is bit ironic that people have to build the answer by understanding the circumstances of a question which doesn’t change whatever circumstances may come.

To be very honest, it’s not the nature of question which bothers me, but the kind of confusion it carries and questioner being unaware of his callous nature literally throws that confusion on you. I think it is unfair for the answerer being thrown into such circumstances. In situation like these, one has to be very smart to understand the expectations of the questioner from you; otherwise there is a big possibility that things can go south within fraction of seconds.

Even for a moment if we ignore the circumstances, the real question which come into my mind where I ask myself, is it really that easy to judge myself...???. I am not being pompous about myself, but sometimes I do feel like I’m bit Schizophrenic. Not exactly schizophrenic like people who are suffering from that decease, but I do feel that there are two people inside me.

There is one whom I represent to the world and there is other one – the real me. The one part which I show to the world is really cool. This guy is the reason why people have respect for me. This guy is very funny at times. This guy is very dominating. He is someone who doesn’t believe in traditional ideology. He will only respect the people whom he adores. Sometimes he does cross the limit of sarcasm, but world treat him like child and forgives him in the next second.

The other part of me is very boring. If he replaces the real guy in me then world will lose interest in me. People will prefer talking to birds than chatting with me. I mean he is real me. The one who feel bad when a tree is being cut down, he is the one who feel that he is blessed to be born in middle class and liberal family when he sees poverty in India through movies like Swades and Slumdog millionaire. At times, when I write posts in my blog I strongly feel that the real guy in me has took over the pretended Nikhil.

So when People asks me about myself then I do get very confused who is real me???......Am I the one who laugh on an adult joke or am I the one who cries on silly situations? I hope you guys are getting what I am trying to say here. Please share your views and your take on these weird situations. Have a great day a head. Best luck...!!!